Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
My name is Sadey Quinn, and I’m a submissive slut.
It should come as no surprise for those who read my books and short stories that I’m submissive. Nate and I used to go with the titles ‘Master and slave’, but we’re both settling into a comfortable ‘He’s in charge, and Sadey’s submissive’ routine. Relationships evolve and I’ve grown more independent, and also I just can’t make the words, “I’m a slave” roll off my tongue without giggling.
I’m not sure what that says about me.
When I began writing erotica (less than a year ago! Wow!), I decided I would try switching a bit to see how I felt about topping men and women. I wanted to understand what it felt like to play the role of the dominant. Turns out, I kind of like topping–to an extent. But the thing is, it’s always play. It doesn’t feel real to me; it’s like I’m an actress playing a part.
Submission, though, is natural. There’s no acting involved. When Nate has me backed up to a wall with one hand around my neck and the other on my cunt, I’m like putty. He could seriously put enough pressure on my throat to make me black out and I wouldn’t struggle (Nate: no, that’s not a hint, sweetie). I have no problem putting my life in his hands. And my highest highs come when he’s topping me, using me, hurting me…
But my submission applies to more than just our sexual lives. In our relationship, Nate’s the driver and I’m the passenger. This is a literal and figurative statement, since Nate refuses to ride in a car if I’m driving it. But figuratively, and most importantly, I trust him with our decisions. I never want a partner who lets me argue with him or puts up with my [very occasionally] whiny attitude. When we have a decision to make together, Nate and I talk as peers, but the final call is his. We aren’t neurotic about it and we don’t really think about our dynamic much; it just is what it is.
I think even a lot of ‘vanilla’ couples have a dynamic where one person is the natural leader. I think that’s normal. In platonic relationships, I find myself leading with some of my friends and submitting to others. I’m not a pushover. I’ve got a mind of my own. Sometimes Nate makes decisions I disagree with. But more often than not, he does the right thing, and I respect him for that.
And, fuck… sexually, submitting is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced in my life. Which is why I’m a submissive slut.
Onward? 30 Days of Kink, Day 2