Category Archives: Musings and Reflections

Do Not Mistake Nail Polish Remover for Makeup Remover

This public service announcement brought to you by my burning right eyeball.

Happy Friday, lovelies!



Filed under Musings and Reflections

Unread/Notifications STRESS FUCK!

Today I made a simple to-do list of very basic things and I have done half the things and I still have more day left so I am happy about that. I woke up at 9:30am instead of 2:00pm! Score one! I wrote for A WHOLE HOUR! I edited for a WHOLE OTHER HOUR! I mailed a deference form in that I’ve been meaning to do for about seven months!

Sometimes it is hard to get things done because I get overwhelmed by the quantity of things to do. I need to switch out some of my covers. I need to get Slaves on Pertz back on Amazon. I gotta write a million things and edit them and then edit them again and write more. I gotta cam-girl it up to make actual $ in the mean time. I want to edit some of my first books because it just needs to happen. I want to write some shorts for various calls for submission. I need to finish my major project of awesome. GAH! My brain explodes.

When I’m overwhelmed, I push everything to the side and watch marathon amounts of Netflix while curled up in a ball, clutching a stuffed animal and a pillow and twitching like a crazy person. Or I lay down and browse reddit for three hours until my phone is out of battery and I opt for a nap. Or I just skip Netflix and reddit and take the nap.

But the key, and I know this, is just doing a small amount every day until a big amount of stuff gets done. Breathe. Logic doesn’t work on the brain of the Sadey sometimes. It’s been a rocky few months.

Here’s a result of the doing-nothing!

Unread e-mails, Sadey’s personal account:

Unread e-mails, Sadey’s business account:

Screen Shot 2014-04-07 at 2.03.03 PM

Unread e-mails, [RealName]‘s personal account:

Notifications, on my guilty pleasure site:

Little by little, poco a poco



Filed under Musings and Reflections

Is This Just Fantasy?

Twenty minutes ago I was sitting naked on my bed, using my hitachi as a fake microphone, and belting out Bohemiam Raposody, happily pretending to be Freddie Mercury, with boobies. 

Let me repeat that, so it can sink in.

I was using my Hitachi magic wand as a microphone to sing. And I was singing along to Queen. FOR AN AUDIENCE.

Jesus Fuck.




Filed under Musings and Reflections, Reality, Sadey Sex



Lately, as in the last six months or so, I’ve had a lack of desire to create.

That desire is what makes writers write. It’s the fuel. Obviously.

So also, in the last six months or so, I’ve been a bit out of sorts. By ‘out of sorts’ I might mean ‘unfunctional depression’, but who knows.

I wonder what makes writers write. I wonder what makes creators create.

We don’t do it for ourselves. When I write a story, it’s partly for me, but it’s also for readers. Hardly anyone dicks around and makes art just for their own selves. They do it to share.

I think when I wrap myself in lonely, I lose the drive to create. Because there is just no one there to create for. I have no one around for feedback for encouragement or what-not.

I am done. A few days ago an old friend called me horrible and disrespectful. Today, I found an account of a friend calling me boring, shallow, cruel. I’m just done with people. I’m not sure how I became so awful, but goddamn.

Maybe I just don’t have more to create or do.

This all sounds dark and creepy, I’m going to keep on posting and all the things, and hopefully writing again. I’m just so tired. Sad and tired. And I try to be good but apparently I’m not.




Filed under Musings and Reflections