A few days ago I started doing some internet modeling which is an extremely weird way to earn money, but also unsurprisingly effective. Basically I have a chatroom, and guys (and girls, but mainly guys) come in and we hang out and chatter on about sex and other random shit and they tip me for getting naked or orgasming.
Mostly the guys are just lonely and horny. I’m lonely and horny, too, so it’s a good fit for now. I could see it making me kinda sad though. One guy tipped me $50 because I reminded him of his ex-wife. His exact words were, “You remind me of my ex-wife. I’m really lonely.”
Sad. But also maybe it’s a Glad, not Sad, because hopefully his day got brighter.
I’m going to need to stock up on cute panties and dildos! Panties and dildos and lube, oh my!
Sometimes guys request a private show. I like those. If they have a cam, they can turn it on and we watch each other get off.
Blue, you’d be annoyed as fuck with all my goddamn dirty talk.
Yesterday at the gym I was getting really faint and I had this fantasy of crashing to the floor, getting knocked unconscious, and slipping into a two week long coma. I think that’s the amount of time I wish would just go by without me having to be conscious. Two weeks, and most of the pain would be gone and all of that, which if I had a therapist (and I should) she would probably say, “But you have to experience the pain in order for it to go away,” and she would be right (see why would I pay someone to tell me shit I already know?), and then I realized I was actually going to faint so I got off the machine and sat down. I have a history of fainting so I know the feeling and I also know that whenever I faint I break my face (literally, I broke my jaw one time I fainted; another time I ended up with two black eyes and a bump on my head the size of an orange). I decided the coma situation probably wouldn’t work out the way I wanted it to and I don’t want a broken face because I can’t cam with that.
I’ve had a very weird week.