The article is about Lindsey Lohan coming out as straight last month, and how various organizations and people have had a field day with this oh-so-important info. Normally I’d file this kind of thing under ‘don’t give a fuck’, but the commentary by various folks, including Ms. Bussel, is great.
A personal anecdote:
I spent a few months living with, and dating, a male-female couple. We had about five million threesomes. The woman and I had some solo fun together on a couple of occasions, but mostly our fun involved the male third in one way or another.
I told a friend of mine about this experience. Later, when referring to another woman, he said, “She’s bi, like you.”
“I’m not bi,” I replied.
“Uh, yeah you are.”
“No. No, I’m not.”
“Well you must be at least partly bi.”
“Not really, no.”
“But you said you dated a couple.”
“Yeah. I did that.”
He shrugged, and moved on. I’m not sure exactly what his take-away was with that conversation. I was surprised by his assumption, though I don’t know why. Of course he’d assume that, given my history.
But to me, having fun with girls doesn’t equal bisexual. On FetLife and other forums, I label myself as ‘heteroflexible’. That is, I’m het, but I can have a good time with women, given the right circumstances.
My general thought on the matter is: Who the fuck cares? These labels, to me, exist for practical purposes only. As in, when I’m perving away online, I can see if a dude would be into me based on a number of factors, including being straight or bi. Other than the meat-market value of the labels, I can’t figure out a good reason why anyone should care, one way or another, whether a person is straight, bi, or gay.
That, and we’re allowed to change our identities. Lohan can be straight today, bisexual five years from now, a lesbian for some weeks in between, and it doesn’t really matter. Looking at sexuality as a static thing–as in, we always remain the same, no matter what–is all well and good for some, but for others, it’s dynamic. It changes, moves around, depends on relationships and experiences, and that’s okay. Someone can be born with their sexuality. Another person can develop theirs as time goes by.
Well, Ms. Bussel puts it more eloquently than I. From the article:
Language and labels and community are wonderful, but they can’t be forced on other people, and human emotions and sexuality are often more complex than a label and all its attendant baggage can handle. I’d like to think that embracing bisexuality also means embracing those who don’t want to put labels on their sexuality for whatever reason as well as working to create a world where everyone is free to explore their desires, both physically and mentally, without feeling ashamed or concerned about not fitting in to someone else’s preconceived ideas.
Give it a read, it’s interesting.
Happy Friday! I’m looking forward to a relaxing, simple weekend. I’m finishing up a new domestic discipline novella (not David and Rachel, this time), and I’m excited to see how it turns out. I think it’s hot. Lots of sex, lots of spankings, lots of dominance and submission and fun.