Tag Archives: insanity workout

Insanity and the Art of Vaginal Orgasms

Big news!

News Number One: I finished Insanity–the workout program everyone seemed to know about but me. I will assume you already know about it, and leave you to Google if you don’t.

Results? Eh. Fit-wise, I’m pretty pleased. I even beat out Tania* in one of these, though I forget which:

I lost exactly zero weight which seems odd. Probably I have more muscle though. I will do it again and see what happens in eight more weeks.

The best thing about Insanity had been the consistent feel-good endorphin rush I get every day. My mood will not necessarily be all that great during the workouts, but after them I know I feel better than I did before. Yay, endorphins.

News Number Two:  ~~~TMI ALERT~~~

I’ve discovered vaginal orgasms**! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

I’m thirty. I realize this might qualify me for several ‘late bloomer’ awards. What. Ever.

This shit is life changing. Probably as life changing or more so as getting a smartphone, to put a quantitative measure on it. Let’s go with more so.


*Tania is this super smiley chick who is ALWAYS kicking ass. Sometimes I’m all, “Wow, Tania, you’re inspirational.” Other times I just want to tackle that bitch because she smiles when all I feel is pain.
**Thank you, Mister Blue. :)


Filed under Musings and Reflections, Reality, Sadey Sex

Mother Fucker.

This would be fine. Seriously. EXCEPT my account is the only thing which allows me to edit my Facebook Page.

I cannot pass the security checks.

I am sad.

Facebook! C’mon!!!! Let me in!!!

Other news?

  • Mexico City rawks.
  • I had lunch with a woman who read Under Order — first reader I’ve met in person!
  • In approximately one week I will begin a project that will last for about a year. It’s Top Secret, for the moment. And technically I started it a few weeks ago. But for some reason it still feels… unstarted. Hello, my name is Vague!
  • Insanity is still kicking my ass. Every two weeks, I do a ‘fit test’–basically a series of ridiculous exercise repetitions. Count the reps, record them, chart progress. And, holy crap, progress happened! In fact, I can show you, since capturing a cropped screen shot on this computer is easy.
  • Social Service giveaway is going strong. 2500 books and counting! Spanktastic goes free tomorrow.


Say a Facebook prayer for me.

Just kidding. I would never advocate praying for stupid shit.



Filed under Musings and Reflections


I’ve completed my first week of doing the Insanity workout. So far I love it. The warm up itself is a workout. Seriously. I’m sweating bullets by the time I’m ten minutes in.

Here’s why I’m enjoying it:

  • Super quick (40-60 minutes a day. Who doesn’t have 40 minutes a day?).
  • Super intense (I can jog for 40 minutes and not feel like I worked out… likely because I’m not running fast enough, but whatever). AND it makes me feel pain. I’m a bit of an endorphin junkie.
  • Minimal barriers to entry. You need good workout shoes, and obviously you need the DVDs themselves. Other than that, there’s no fancy equipment required (though an exercise mat is helpful, and a towel for the ridiculous amount of sweat you’ll have pouring down your face/body).
  • It is different than any other workout I’ve ever done. And I’ve done a lot of random workouts, from lifting weights to aerobics to yoga to running to construction. I realize construction isn’t a workout, per se, but when a chick can haul full sheets of three quarter inch plywood around by herself, she’s working out…

Things I don’t like?

  • Every single woman on the video has a freaking six pack. I can understand wanting beautiful women in the videos for marketing reasons, but can I get one person who doesn’t have a perfect body? It is both motivational (maybe some day that will be me!) and also completely de-motivational (who am I fucking kidding? That will *never* be me!).
  • The cool-down stretching could be longer for me. Which I can take care of by adding time on my own, so it’s no biggie.
  • I’m not sure, but I think that I don’t like that this workout is touted as being for just anyone. I’m relatively fit. I’m no superstar, for sure, but I can walk ten miles without feeling tired. I can jog a few without feeling tired. I have a decent resting heart rate. I think. I don’t check it, because I suspect it’s fine. But I see people who are nearly obese, starting this program, and I am thinking… holy shit. I’m not against people doing Insanity if they are obese, but I do hope they take care to not push too hard. Take breaks, etc. I wouldn’t recommend the program to anyone who wasn’t already able to run a mile, or do aerobic activity for 20 minutes without pause.
    That said, I’ve read personal accounts of obese people who have done the program and have had great success.

Today was my first day off. I’ve enjoyed it, but I’m already missing the rush. :)

Holy crap, though, am I ever sore! I haven’t been this sore since… maybe basketball try-outs in college? Wow.

My quads are so sore that I sort of limp down my staircase.

And my abs are so sore that it is seriously painful to orgasm. Perhaps the greatest casualty so far. But one I’m willing to put up with. ;)



Filed under Musings and Reflections