Tag Archives: sadey sex

30 Days of Kink: Day 14

Time to start checking off items on my List Of Unfinished Projects!

Oddly enough, as I browsed some of my earlier entries in 30 Days of Kink, I’ve found that my opinions have changed. One fun (read: annoying) part of my personality is that I will argue adamantly about my opinion, so fucking sure of myself, and then a week or two later I switch directions and change my damn mind.

Whatever. I like Day 14′s question, so here we go!

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? 

I was riding him one afternoon, and he was exploring a fantasy to get me off.

“Maybe you’d like to find a house, with seven guys, and be their sex slave…have them control you, tie you down, use your body…”

I came immediately, then paused, thought for a moment, and replied, “Huh. I bet I could make that happen.”

“Uh, maybe not such a good idea.”

-

Fantasy and reality are obviously separate realms. For some people, this is a Very Good Thing. If Johnny imagines fucking sheep while he’s whacking off, good for him. If Johnny fucks a sheep, he’s raping a creature who cannot provide consent, and bad on him.

Safety-wise, handing myself over to a frat house and becoming their sex slave? Unwise. Jilling off to the idea? Awesome.
An aside: a couple months ago I actually got a message from a guy, at a frat house, and they wanted a sex slave. Sigh.

So, there’s the morality, there’s the safety, and then there’s also the logistical battle, which trips up newbies.

No one can be a Master/Mistress all day, every day. No one can be a slave all day, every day. It’s just impossible, because life happens. Unless the two partners have an extreme difference in financial and educational backgrounds (in which case I’d guess that delving into a D/s relationship is sketch, to say the least), the ‘sub’ half is going to occasionally disagree with the ‘Dom’, and there will be fights, there will be sickness and injury, there will be a million instances in which relying on the power dynamic is not only inappropriate, but useless. Two people in a long-term relationship will operate as peers for the majority of their time together (even if the relationship is outlined such a way that one person is ‘in charge’).

Beyond morality, safety, and logistics, we have desires.

Do I desire to be a slave? Nope. Not even a little bit. I’ve identified as a slave before, I’ve done the M/s thing, I’m no longer into it, thankyou. I certainly fantasize about it, however. I’m writing a short story about a young woman who agrees to be a live-in-housekeeper and sex slave for two smokin’ hot men. The idea of that? SO FUCKING HOT. A reality of that?

Hmm. I just had to pause because, again, that sounds so fucking hot. But no. Not a good idea for reality. :) Maybe for a weekend. Or a month.

A-hem, anyway. All these things: morality, safety, logistics, and our long-term desires, they separate fantasy from reality.

BUT: This doesn’t mean that many fantasies can’t become reality.

The majority of my fantasies fall into the ‘Okay To Try Out’ category, and fuck if I’m going to sit around and avoid making them happen. Many of my fantasies have happened, and reality delivers. Is the outcome what I expect? Sometimes. Sometimes reality is better, sometimes it’s disappointing.

I don’t want to look back on my life and think, “Man, I should’ve really tried getting spanked hard and then nailed in the ass, now I’ll never know what that feels like.”

I love exploring my sexuality, and sharing it with people I trust. Turning fantasies into realities is like a freakin’ hobby to me, at this point. :) One of the keys is expectations–being honest that reality will not always live up to our fantasy, and that’s perfectly okay. Because sometimes, reality not only lives up to fantasy, but it trumps the fuck out of our expectations and we end up a quivering pile of post-orgasm mess, barely able to move around the sweaty sheets, completely exhausted and surprised.

And that’s fun.

xoxo
Sadey

p.s. More 30 Days posts here. 

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Filed under Fantasy, Sadey Sex

My Guns After Vampire Sex

It’s no secret that I’m big on pain. Total masochist. I even enjoy non-sexual pain, sometimes. Like sore muscles, scratches, this kind of thing. I don’t like headaches. I didn’t particularly enjoy breaking my wrist, though some of that pain was fun. My name is Sadey Quinn, and I’m addicted to endorphins.

I’ve never been much on biting, though. Biting is hard to adjust to. With a spanking, you can work your mind up for the pain, you can get used to it. Then the pain fades and it gets fun. Sometimes. Or it starts hard and goes hard, and I wiggle and desperately try to get away, but that’s fun too. Depends on the guy and what he’s doing.

Biting pain is…well, it’s biting. It’s a biting pain. There’s a reason that adjective exists. Dan bit me like crazy last night. My arms, my back, covered in pretty bruises and teeth marks. I’m going to have to wear a tshirt instead of a tank top to the gym today. It was fun. Not my favorite kind of pain, but fun, nonetheless. And who doesn’t like marks!

Heh. Probably most people don’t like marks. I love love love ‘em. I love the indentation of rope that’s been wound around my wrists. I love bruises, welts, hickies, abrasions. Battle wounds. Reminders.

*smile*

Here’s two blurry photos of my arms. I need to get better at taking pictures with my phone.

vampire bruises

Happy Sunday! We get a whole extra hour today (for those of us in areas that observe Daylight Savings). Enjoy!

xoxo
Sadey

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Filed under Reality, Sadey Sex

Insanity and the Art of Vaginal Orgasms

Big news!

News Number One: I finished Insanity–the workout program everyone seemed to know about but me. I will assume you already know about it, and leave you to Google if you don’t.

Results? Eh. Fit-wise, I’m pretty pleased. I even beat out Tania* in one of these, though I forget which:

I lost exactly zero weight which seems odd. Probably I have more muscle though. I will do it again and see what happens in eight more weeks.

The best thing about Insanity had been the consistent feel-good endorphin rush I get every day. My mood will not necessarily be all that great during the workouts, but after them I know I feel better than I did before. Yay, endorphins.

News Number Two:  ~~~TMI ALERT~~~

I’ve discovered vaginal orgasms**! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

I’m thirty. I realize this might qualify me for several ‘late bloomer’ awards. What. Ever.

This shit is life changing. Probably as life changing or more so as getting a smartphone, to put a quantitative measure on it. Let’s go with more so.

xoxo
Sadey

*Tania is this super smiley chick who is ALWAYS kicking ass. Sometimes I’m all, “Wow, Tania, you’re inspirational.” Other times I just want to tackle that bitch because she smiles when all I feel is pain.
**Thank you, Mister Blue. :)

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Filed under Musings and Reflections, Reality, Sadey Sex

Full Disclosure

I did a little blog restructure today, in the interest of full disclosure (full exposure…). There is a new menu item: Sadey Sex. Hover over that bad boy and you’ll see two categories: Fantasy and Reality.

Fantasy includes such shorts as Two Nights with Mistress Tracy, and Sexy Labor Day. If you thought those stories were real, well, good. I was hoping they would sound real, and was doing some experimentation as I work with my various writing voices.

Reality will include past and future sexcapades as well as awkward and weird stories of my BDSM self-discovery.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflection lately. On my life, what I want out of it, and who I want to be. What I do want, for sure, is to continue writing smut. So that’s good. Right?

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Filed under Musings and Reflections, Sadey Sex